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Episode 8 · 1 year ago
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Episode 8 · 1 year ago
Episode 8: Happiness
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Helloibabity an welcome to the thepisodes of naked truth with Carmen and Olibia. I hope you all well. How areYou Doing Olivia? What had you doing from last week? I have been quite busy,which has been goods to keep me out of trouble Um. This week's just flown by. I can'tbelieve we'reback on Friday. Again it's crazy and it's August tomorrow, whichis insane yeah, I'm good, I'm hoping not to have any low flying planes goingon whist were recording. They were going again this morning, the UmAmerican air force like to try and scare us by flying as low as possibleover our house over our house, but Um. I seem to have stop for now, thankgoodness, but if, if you do hear a plane, I'm not in any imminent danger,it's just thathey're maneuves gets very loud, sometimes but yeah m looking forwatd a bit of bet a Sun. Today, I'm a bit scared ofhow hot it's going to get but Yeh any thir o hung out. So what did you say? A pontly thirtythegrees just going to get to, I think, T thirty, two H my gun know we're gonnadie and in London Yeah, Oh yeah yeah. Imean at least I'm out in the middle of nowhere. But actually our garden is areal kind of m like it's always much hotter in ourgarden than it is out the front. So it does get very, very warm black there,but not going to complain. 'cause, I'm notgoing abroad this year. So I just have to pretend I'm in Turkey N I'm in thebackguard today. What have you been up to since lastweek? So nothing Ma I've been walking a lot. I guess es contagious, YoeBetalking lot about walking. So yesterday we were walking for two hours.I came Roud, so tired and I didn't realize hit was two hours.I thought yeah yeah, it's really Nice, just I lately with the whole isolationand of this I'd, really love to be around trece yea. So we went to a park and you know youmatched yourself in a conversation and yet two hours later I felt shuttered. Usually, I sleptreally well re Ey Wellso Liva this week, we'regoing to talk about happiness. MMI can hear you you're very happy. I am happythis morning Soli I in to hear yeah s sa very well.So before we start, I just wanted to tell the all audience a little bittstory about happiness. The legend has that the Olympian Greek gods wereimesina het heated evate about wher to...
...put the human happiness. They were nohappy with Um the way the humors were behaving, so they wanted to hide itfrom them. So persedans say what about whe, putthe happiness in the bottom of the ocean, an sust reply. Well, humans are veryclever. They will find a way to go to the bottom of the ocean and find et. Weneed to find another place. So after a lot of delimeration Apaulo thoughtsthat he had the most brilliant idea, if they put happiness on top of thebiggest mountain, he must will never get there. So they kept debating andthinking a lot on the different possibilities they all came to thecomplution. Then, no matter how told the Mont Manton was humans will find away to get there and find happiness, so they kept thinking and thinking and theclever here that the quiet one spoke as he said what about. If we put t insidethe humans, they will never find it and after careful deliberation they allagree and from the moment on whats happen is, was located Osay the humans,so it it. I thought it was an interesting story because we spent ourlives Um, trying to look for happiness in stermon factors. Material Nsachievement when really all along is insie as butwee never been taught how to find them how to be happy. So what do you think about this littlestory? Olivia? Oh, I think they're very pesky, Greekgods have been hidinghappiness from us, but it's it makes sense. Isn't it that we we'vekind of been searching the happiness ever since, and we can't find itbecause it's already there you've already gotit you've. Just you just can't quite locate it inyourself, so yeah. I think it's a a clever little story that one and Idon't know because if you go to like my best friend, Google Yn Al Happiness andhappy so googles Sai, the happy is showing pleasure and happiness,obviously is the state of being happy, and that is the problem I think in theWestern society, and it's all you know, I'm not attacking the marketeas Um butits Ald, the whole society. We have so much marketing around us and so manydifferent M messages. bombarting us with. We haveto get something to be something or if it here, then you will be happy andthen Youre you achieve then, and you feel like yeah, it's a honeymoon period,but then you go like mm and you gone back to whatever emotions so what'shappiness for you, Olivia See. I did the same thing where Ilooked on Google and I just thought I don't really agree with thern their definition of it. But then I also couldn't really come upwith one. I say real definition, 'cause.
I think it is different things fordifferent people, so things that might kind of inspire happiness in you mightbe an absolute nightmare for me, it's probably easier to describe whatit feels like from what it actually is. So for me, it's when you feel satisfiedand content with. You know your lot in life. You feel positive emotions,you're in a good mood and you're enjoying life. So that's that's when Ifeel happy it's not necessarily this overwhelming peasurable feeling canjust be like things are: okay, I'm fine, I'm pretty happy wit. The waythings are, and I think that's really what happiness isis when you're not in a dark place. I guess and something Ifound really interesting and when I was doing my research was according toetymology online. Not a website I often go to, but ithe word happy is actuallyderived from the same word for lucky, and it goes on to suggest that in the olden days days of yourhappiness wasn't seen as a vital factor and having a good life and instead wasa bonus that just some lucky individuals got to experience, and I don't know if I agree with thatstatement. That seems seems very sad that only a few lucky people got to behappy and everyhere. I it just wasn't vital t it didn't really matter if youwere happy or not. You just got on with it m because to me, if I think about the life of O, what we understand thelife of a cave man to be, it was a lot simpler. They they had a very clearpurpose that was to survive. So of course it was a hard life, but I imagine they didn't have thissame longing for materialistic things that we do now, so they must have hadsome contentment. I imagine in what they were doing that they'd. Youknow caught the food or found the food or whatever it was they were doing.There must be a degree of I've done that now that feels good. But then I also guess that happenesswasn't a word or a concept that existed back then so yeah Hin, I probably feltit it just maybe wasn't a a concept we had to come up with bythen it's quite interesting. I wo I was listening to somebody. I can rememberthe name and they were talking about an expert in marriage and they weretalking about the history of marriage and and nowadays we introduce the conceptof happiness and year many cartures still dereng marriage still en ot goingon...
...bu in the past. It was like how youknow these two people can work together and m happiness were no involvinganything is the same as if you were a big farm wand. You have a lot of kidsin their mindis. I need more kids to help out in the farm mm and the themodern societ you know incorporated more than the individual happiness intothe quotion that you know. I creates slighly bigger problems because then isto people trying to find their own individual happiness Um. So it could be.That is a modern concept MMM, but I muct prefer to live now than in thecave. Man, I for sure it's less dangerous or you never know, but I feellif less than owhy Livi. What do you think happiness matters? Well, I mean, I think it matters,because it makes you feel good, but when I did some kind of researchanfish, you know why does it really matter? There's a lady called Junesilney appify and she acaly answered this and well fourteen times. The question waswhat so great about happiness anyway and she came up with fourteen differentanswers, but I've summarized it here because actually they could all kind ofgo into one sentence rather than fourteen separate ancers. So my summarywould be that happy people are more successful, they are healthier and theycontribute more toward society and others. So I think that's why it's soimportant. It isn't just that fiel good factor. I actuallyhas a influence on other areas of your life, its very difficult to besuccessful. If you're unhappy it's difficult to be healthy, if you'reunhappy, do you really want to contribute to others and help others ifyou're desperately unhappy? I don't think you are. I think you do need thatthat part of you to be there to be able to do all of those things. So that'swhy I think happiness matters, yeah, mad toteen, so whats what's happinessto you, Carmon Yeso. For me, I change a lot assigmenture Olivia, very mature,Tismel Um, but for me, when I look back happiness used to be always thinking ofhaving good time smelling all the time, and by doing that, the Times where you areNoli that you think you are unhappy, so you tend to create a lot of unhappinessin your life because you know accept in what life is about, and life is aboutopportunity for Growth and development than many challenges and a lot of Wangand a lot of happiness, but not just happiness, and for me now happiness is,is, if I have to boil it something. It...
...would be that I havf piece of mine. Ifeel content with whatever I have fom my life is and people aeround me. Ifeel fullfilled with whatever I'm doing in life, a'm contributing and I'mwalking the pasth. I should be walking and the reach joy enjoy. You know it's different from thehappiness concort that had an feel joy insie, a a and you can do that byaccepting life and a set life is accepting all the challenges because,to be honest, the joying happiness, probably the moment you can count ar lower than the challenges you will havein life. It depends how you look at situations as well, of course, but ifwe start viewing any situation in front of us as an opportunity to land aLittlei Morand to grow, I think that could be a big helptowards happiness, and that is what I'm trying to do in workere myself, 'causethat the majority of my unhappiness was because I did not a set life as he wasMadm nesaid. What I had in front of me, I had to deal with whim. This is anofair while comparing to all thirs and going in Scula, where you just becomesuch a necenter and the moment we become me center happiness starfulfilling your life. The moment you are all the centere and you contributeyou have. You are more happy, as you mentioned before, so for me, it's justthes thing. You know, I you miisin peace and you feel contens yous andlife for what it is a journey rather than a big party in a way so Olivia.What? What are you happies moment? If you look back? If I look back through my life at mykind of you know, flashbacks of of really happymoments. Actually, I think one of my probably the earliest memory I have isbeing on am on a sledge in Snow N. I was like atoddler and like being in a snow Su on a sledgegoing down a hill in like deep snow, and I remember that being very, verylike happy and joyful, but it's when you're a child. It is very simple:Isn't it it's you're, happy or you're, not happy? So at that point you don'thave all the same worries and concerns and awareness of everything else that goeson in the world. So I think I think that was a very kind of happy time andthen again through throughout school days, just memories o just hanging outwith friends when there's no problems, no one's falling out with each otherFrione's getting on like that's like the best kind of feeling when you'vegot those any close relationships. And...
...then you know, even my third year ofUni, was like the best unever just lived to some really great peopl met.Some great people did some great things and you know I hard to have any badkind of memories from then atol it was all just really fun and then even inthe police, which quite often I talk about my experiencesin the police, although I recognize that I enjoyed it at certain points, ittends to be focusing on the the negative and that I don't regretanything. But you know it didn't go well and that's how I've ended up whereI am now, but I I'm grateful for it. But actually there are some times inthe police where my team was just so bonded and we kneweach other. So well, you knew who was going to react to different things andwho was going to have your back and you just couldn't have askdthebettercolleagues, and I think when you have that kind of Comraderie, that reallyhelps contribute to being happy in your work life, but a realization of thatshe had very recently, as in this week, I was listening to another pog cast andthere was a couple of comedians talking about being single during this lockdownperiod with coved and talking about you know, being lonely orwhatever, and then the other one pointed out like what would be worsethan being single and lockdown would be being in a relationship and lock down'cause you're stuck with your partner in your house, and you can't get awayfrom them and that there's all these people that have come to thisrealization that they shouldn't be in a relationship.They've never spent that much time together before they don't really likeeach other and like how awful that would be, and Irealized at that point Mi how actually I was really contentand actually I've quite enjoyed lockdown being stuck with my father Isrean. He feels the same Olivia weas Ihaven't asked him ton't ow. If I want to know the answer,it doesn't matter, it's O Ivoas. I think it goes back to what you were.You were talking about that kind of accepting life as it is, and viewingstuff is opportuneto from learning Grosth, and I think that's what we hadto do at the beginning of lockdown that first week it was a night there. We hadso many imens and it was just like having both people working from home.It was, it was just lack of clear communicationand boundaries and who's doing what, when and who needs quiet time when forwhat sort of things, and then we start communicating like I've, got this atthis time. I really need it to be quiet. I need Bhis. I need that and then it's we've settled into thisreally good routine, and actually I've really enjoyed him working from home.Now that we don't spend all day together, we're very separate in ourwork, but yeah it's been raining is...
...amaz liveon, there's this realcontentment that we can actually live in this harmony together. You would be arelationship culture on thes of Covet so non. I cannot deare with otherpeople, but yeah. I think that's been a real, areal lovely realization this week that, yes, this has been. You know a really hard time to getthrough, but that area of my life I do feel veryhappy and very content, and just it's it's good! It's okay andthat's there's one! I don't want the highs and lows of a you know an earlyrelationship, those early days where you're so passionate and then so angryecause, something's, gone wron know it's quite nice to be in this kind ofin the Midde wwe can get home. We can be friends as well as partners. It's beenthat's been. I hope, that's something I remembersomething I'm going to try ND ow orward. It's so beautiful of God. I hope youlover. I hope he will listen to this. If he doesn't please Ana Onmean now youcan embarrass yourself what your memories about you. I would not give you an embarrassingonce so for me when I look back it's whenwhen I used to be joung many moots ago Um, when I startto goin now clubbing soin Spain, you go out from twelve o'clock and then you come back when youcome back some time, sick, sometimes eight in my case, Yit was always like.I remember to be talking to all my neighbors with cars and asking thenwhat? What time are you going back? What time are you going back in Uerwith the with the one that went the latest, though my neighbors were reallyconcerned, and you know I had loats of rumors aboutwhich type of Gal I was coseberae Cang. I would come back in a different carbut ifm the memory of me. I never drank much.So I was dancing and dancing imagined the whole night mm dancing away meetingpeople. So the two things I love the most at that time was dancing and justsocialized. Is I like to talk us? You know so, and I was very, very popularand very socialle so has so many people to talk to and that that memoryes wowits just pure happiness, pure, I don't enjoy the other. One probably is when Ihad my baby now, woman will go like whatc its now and you were deliveringthat. Probably I wouldn't call call the happiness just to fold this baby mmit's.Just I don't know there is nothing it just it's just nothing like that andthen nowadays, Tam Ot be more Cammon of that. Just having nice dinners orconversations with liminded people and...
...orsample doing this, potcast imaze merat appar, to prepare with you and to talk about things that matter to us andhopefully would matter to o our audience. So the happiness is moresubtle. You know more, but yeah a probably are my memories.Yeah. So do you think there's some key element: R Olivia to creat happiness inour lives. It's difficult because everyone's livesare so different and everyone wants something different in in life, butwhat I would say is something that's key is being aware ofwhat you already have and not focusing on what you want. So you already have so much in your life,whether it's people that love you, whether it's that you've got your dream,CARV whatever it is. That is the thing that you kind of means a lock to you. What do youalready have and don't always be focusing on what you want now goingback to previous episodes? You still need golls and to strive to achievewhat you want, but be mindful not to do that at theexpense of sacrificing what you already have mong. I have. The awareness of I've already got all this great stuff,and the next thing I want to do is do that thing there and that don't just concentrat on that atthe expense of for getting all the great things that you already have inyour life, so kind of, I suppose, a way of an analogy for thatwould be. I enjoy the journey so when you are going on holiday and you're,focusing so much on on where you're going and you've got this long drivetoo, I don't know the late district or something if you're just purely focused ongetting there and hey every moment of the journey on the way you'll havemissed out on a lot. There hade been a lot of views. There could have beenpeople you met along the way experience you had jokes, you had with your familyin the car Y E. You've missed. All of that so really try and enjoy thejourney as much as you enjoy the destination. So I think I love it, be my kind of keyelements to that. I Love Thet O so for me, will beprobably three things and one t at I never had before, and now is's in mydaily habits is gratitude. I truly don't believe anybody coal be happy ifyou know gratefully a little bet what you said of what you have, who you areyou just can and the you can't have but emotions while you're doing gratitudeis just as impossible. So for me, I start my day with you know, saying:Thank you. Aalive. There are mines of people that didn't wake up today. Ihave another opportunity to give ther...
...go and Mace whatever I want to make ortalk who you know to the people. I want to talk or do whatever I want to do for my health. So you know if yo thinkabout health, my goodness we shoull, we should be so happy to be healthy,there's so many people there now, but we're just grateful for our health. Inthe moment we are not healthy. It's just gracial gratitude, for me is amast. The second enement probably is suscepting reality, and I'm going togive you a little example of how no accepting reality can give you so muchunhappiness. I remember I was working really hard towards her promotion and it was something that was hundredpercent sure I will get at the top management and the people. I wasworking with my kids. They holdes they knew. I wull get it. So everybody was,you know, of course, camming is already doing the job mm, so the job becameavailable and they gave it to somebody else and that took me to it's usuallymore than a year of resentment, anger, stress andsiety, because I just didn'tunderstand it' Jast I was working. I was doing all the right things andperson just happene that it was from certain nationalities a new certaintype of people. It was a different sex and I was so angry sesly affected mywealbing. So much and few years later I got a different promotion and at thatpoint I realized that the promotion I wanted I didn't want in the first place,because if I look at it it will have, I will have to travel a lot and I don'tlike to travel for business. So you see the moment you Dong a set reality as Iis in saying. Okay, I didn't get it. So what can I do now when you go intothese victim mentality and fighting and fighting a Whye me? Why didn't get itand you can go for a year or more? It could be dear O, yeah yeah, it's whenthey unhappiness comes because you're not accepting what it is and you cannotchange reality. You just need to accept to first and then try to do somethingabout it and Thais the fair element, growth, minset, so see, failures, sheechallenges as an opportunity for you to learnd and grow see. If you didn't getsomething, what does it mean? It could mean that this thing was not the rightthing for you and the universe has a different planfor you. But you don't know you because you don't do the thinking about whatyou want in your life. Oh, it could be that you know there for it. You know itlike, like, for example, when I became a finance manager, I became my whole mine anbody and theway I behave, I was a finance manager...
...before the job bcame available. So itwas really easy for people to say take it. You are already a finous manager.So, but it's because when I don't you know you working when yourselve so bytaking challenges, Ta's an opportunity to growor to question yourself what you have to do, ind having a golfmine set willing, yt happiness in your life,because you will not do the fighting. So for me, this thre element ofgratitude, acceptin reality and a growth mineset Aky for happiness. Andfor me I a summary. There is nothing we need to be to do or to get to be happyas with the story with the Green Gods, that is the sweetest story, but toYones it is the reality. Happiness is not going to be in the House you buy inthe car. You Buy Min the promotion you are going to get, because if we are nothappy within ourselves, you could be happy because you got something in fora month six months, but then you go back to them. UHAPPINESS andunhappiness is our birthrights and is INCIA. So it's up to us and we can'tput us all the people responsibiiy, like you know, even in relationships.The majority of the problems we have is because we we blame our partner for ourown unhappiness yeah, giving that power to our partner that he's in control orshe's in control of our happiness is crazy. We are in control of ourhappiness and we, if we are no, we have to do something about it. So there'snothing we need to get and the problem is tha. I think we live with this modellike if I do dod, then I woild be happy as if I pass Ti sex SAM ohappy. If Ican buy a flat, I would be so happy forever. I remember when I wrive inthis country. I couldn't speak English, and so I was cleaning in a hotel, Aninvery little money and had a dream in my head and the dream was if I could everand ten thousand pounds a year and this I'm talking about twenty five years ago. I will never ask for anything. I woildbe so happy. How stupid is that same 'cause, of course, then iend up anymuch more, but I truly believed it at that point and then, when I got muchmore than that loves more than that was unhappy. So you know this. This modeled US omework. So if we are not happy, don't find it don't try to say all is becauseI need to. If I do this, then Jes try to goings are working on yourself. Tryto understand you issues, you believes your valuesand do some work on bat to find them for yourself and don't Pul on anybody'shands. Is You wrong it se? You have the ownership for your onhappiness Reallyi',not think! That's a really good point...
...cause. I know when we've discussed this of outside ofthe pubcast weare talking about people who don't have anything but arevery, very happy so ever there in or third rord country, they're homeless.Whatever you know, there are people who have so little material objects, solittle money to have a great deal of happiness, yeah, which just proves thatthat if I had that, then I would be happy isn't true. It has nothing unhappy. I was listening to a potcast, the otherand I war saying this little story about thes Super Righ, millionairegoing on holidays to Tiy, ao somewhere and then wit, an beautiful tropicalisland, and he spent his days walking with by the beach with the family andand observing them. The people going fishing, the locals going fishing andhe really liked these family an he got to know then, where the man wentfishing very early on and in the day, and then he would spend the wholeafternoon with his grandkids, his wife and all that and they started talking,and he really wanted to help him because she could and he thought if Icould get a job for him, he could do it veally. Well, so he said to the guy. You know if Icould help you, you know like what would you want and the man said I'mhappy, I don't need anything, but you know if I can give you a job and youcan lods of money, the Oldman said and then what I wel do with it whell youcould do like me. You can come to tropical islands like these, and theguy said I am here. You see what I mean is just probablythe old man was like what you talking about. I have wit, you spend your moneyin getting stress. You have to pay you money to get here, MI eter have it. Idon't need your money and I is Thais'n it like Bu, I'm afraid his housesociety is being constructed and our beliefs. You know coming here, remembera lot of documentaries about how Margaritaca change things in thiscountry and you can buy your own house and you can you know you can. If youhave a brain, you can succeed and all that and he became very indyvidualistvery like the American style, and you know I's Um, it's creating a lot ofunhappiness ecause. The thing is material things they. They just giveyou a short injection of happy emotion and then it disamuseme Qick, very, veryquick, soyeag, interesting. Isn't it well 'm, I'mhoping we've giving people some food food forthought today and brought some happiness to their lives for sure. I wish everybody a happy veryhappy Friday in weekend.
Yes, en, I hope eer one gets to enjoythe STUM and the thirty two degrees that we're having God, but we got to be grateful for it.Whilst we have it, ecause Yo know its enabotnand old well be wishing it washard again. So thank you all for listening andplase Joiin us again next week where we will discuss another topic and you canconnect with us at Instagram, Nake, truth, pod and twitter at naked truthunder score pot, our facebut pages naked truth, we comand and Alivia, andif you'd like to chat with US Collaborate Shar your story. Our emailaddress is naked truth cald at gemal com and we're hoping to have a specialguest coming up soon. We are just trying to arrange a recording date. Sowewill, let you know more about that. Tell your friends about to spread theword stay on es stay you and most of all stay naked, eight Keds M. I.
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